I have a stalker.
He doesn’t follow me home or look through my windows at night but that doesn’t make him any less of a stalker. But before you tell me I’m using the word “stalker” incorrectly or accusing someone of false behavior, let me give you the definition of the word according to yourdictionary.com.
Stalking is hunting for prey, or physically following someone, or contacting them excessively.
Although my stalker does not “hunt” or follow me around, he does prey on women at gyms and he does contact them excessively. I won’t say that I’m not partial to blame but I will say that he comes off so innocent that you don’t see the harm in talking to this man.
For the sake of this blog, I won’t reveal his identity and we’ll instead call him, “Roy.”
Nine months ago, I taught a yoga class as I do any other Saturday at noon. When I wrap up class I welcome my students to come chat with any yoga related questions or comments. Roy, a new student in his mid-50’s came up to chat this particular afternoon. He was new to the area, didn’t have any friends and had a mental disability that prevented him from working.
He spoke of the sob story of his life and failure in past relationships that led him to move to Florida. I actually felt sorry for this SOB and told him I was always free to talk to after class if he just needed a friend. Little did I know, that he was preying on so many other women with the same story.
A month later, he came back to my class and we spoke afterwards. We chatted for a while and he inquired about my yoga schedule. I verbally told him when I taught and he asked me if we could be Facebook friends so he wouldn’t forget. I hesitated but agreed because he seemed like a nice enough person.
But that’s when things started to get weird.
Every post, picture, or status on my page had a like or comment from Roy. At first, I brushed it off. Then, my fiance and a friends started to ask me who this Roy guy was and why he was always liking my content. I told them he was a student of mine but he was nothing to worry about or so I thought.
I noticed that my other yoga teacher friends were also being added on Facebook by this middle aged creep. Everywhere I looked, I saw a photo of Roy with a different fitness instructor in the Orlando area. He even added my friend, Alex, during our trip to Puerto Rico (CLICK HERE TO READ )as a Facebook friend and he had never met her! When she asked me about him, I told her the same thing I had been telling all of my other friends. He was innocent and she had nothing to worry about with Roy as her “friend”.
The months rolled on and every time I saw Roy he hugged me and thanked me for being his “dear friend”. Let it be known that I got in trouble in kindergarten for “hugging too much.” I am not one opposed to hugging but these hugs made me feel very uncomfortable. Not to mention, if he stayed for class he would sit dead center in front of me with only about a foot in between us and I didn’t like the way he looked at me as I taught. Luckily I open every yoga class with a meditation and I ask my students to close their eyes. With my students eyes closed, I would scoot back a few feet to get away from this man and this uncomfortable proximity.
I thought about complaining to the management but I figured I was a strong girl who could handle this one on her own.
Then I couldn’t take it any longer. Roy came up to me before class one day and said he had a secret and had to tell me in my ear. It was one of the strangest requests I’ve ever had in my adult life.
He whispered, “You have the nicest feet I’ve ever seen.”
Chills instantly shot up my spine. Nothing about this situation was right. This man wasn’t right. He crossed a boundary that I realized never should have been crossed. Shaken, I taught class and I left before anyone, let alone Roy, could speak a word to me after class.
I unfriended Roy on Facebook and felt instant relief. It sounds so bizarre but it felt great to not have to see the constant likes and comments from this man who gave me the creeps even on the virtual world. Later that day, I logged on to my Instagram account @NamasteKayYoga, I noticed a new message in my inbox. My skin crawled as I saw Roy’s name as the sender.
The message read…
Hello Kay. I noticed we weren’t friends on Facebook. I can’t even find you anymore. If I did anything please let me know so I can fix it.
I was disturbed at this point. An hour after unfriending this man on Facebook, he somehow knew we were no longer friends. This man was paying way too much attention to me online and this was proof. Not even my own fiance, liked, commented or shared my content as much as this man did and he’s the one marrying me! No longer would I brush this man off as innocent or make excuses for his excessive behavior.
Roy is a stalker. Yoga instructors in the area beware, he will cross the line at some point even if he comes off as friendly. Please reach out to me if you would like this mans real name so you can look out for him.
Now I understand the concept and importance of having boundaries. No longer will I freely give away my personal information. I’m going to burn an entire box of business cards with my phone number on them and replace them with my business email.
I deserve this type of respect and so do you.